


we know for sure amidst this fading light

by flyicarus



Category: Captain America (2011), Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-22
Updated: 2012-02-22
Packaged: 2017-11-02 04:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyicarus/pseuds/flyicarus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before Steve leaves for a mission, Bucky is determined to give him a hero's sendoff; Steve has other plans in mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we know for sure amidst this fading light

“So,” Steve said slowly. “This is our last night together for a while. What do you want to do?”  
  
Bucky grinned. “Whatever you want to do. I’ve got to give you a proper hero’s sendoff, don’t I?”  
  
“You’ll still see me tomorrow,” Steve conceded, ignoring the absolutely devious twist to Bucky’s mouth and the fact that he was just called a hero. “But…I want tonight to be special, now that…well. Now that I’ve got someone to come home to.”  
  
The way Bucky’s whole face lit up and then the way he tried to hide that joy away almost broke Steve’s heart. They still had such a long way to go.  
  
“I’m, uh. I’m glad that I get to be that someone.”  
  
“So am I,” he added, leaning down to give him a quick kiss. “I really am.”  
  
“ _So_ ,” Buck replied, smothering his grin. “Last night with me for a little while, Rogers. What do  _you_  want to do?” He looked up at him expectantly. “Choose wisely,” he intoned after a moment.  
  
“Well.” He rubbed the back of his neck, feigning contemplation. “I could draw Natasha…”  
  
Bucky’s expression dimmed considerably, his brows knitting together in mild annoyance. Steve smiled, delighted, and leant down once more to kiss him, this time his mouth lingering against Bucky’s for a considerably longer amount of time.  
  
“Kidding, Barnes. Kidding. Um. Well…” He shrugged helplessly. “I just want to be with you. That’s all.”  
  
“Ha, ha, ha,” Bucky offered sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Steve’s teasing jab at his jealousy. “And, uh. I think I can swing that.”  
  
He grinned. “Come on, Bucky. Didn’t mean anything by it.” He used mild force to press Bucky’s back against the wall next to the door to their place, crowding himself against his friend and making sure not to stumble on the pile of their shoes. “Only one for me is you,” he murmured, one hand resting on Bucky’s waist as the other gently cradled the base of his skull. “You gotta know that by now.”  
  
“I could use a little more convincing,” he responded, giving Steve a generous wink.  
  
“Yeah?” Steve leant down, and having tilted Bucky’s head up, kissed his jaw tenderly. “What do you want? I’ll do anything.”  
  
Bucky’s smile had always been one of his favorite things, and he was offered that smile now, pleased and interested. “Well, I’ve gotta say, the kissing? It’s a nice start.”  
  
“Perhaps a little more of that, unless you’ve got something else in mind,” he added, kissing his way down Bucky’s jaw and neck, mapping the territory with his mouth.  
  
“No, no,” Bucky stopped him, laughing lightly, “by all means, carry on, Captain.”  
  
He grinned in response. “As you wish, Sergeant.” He slowly kissed up the other side of Bucky’s neck and jaw. “But if all you want’s the kissing, then…” he added slowly, starting to pull back.  
  
Bucky made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat, but still offered Steve a lopsided grin. “Tease.”  
  
“You can only blame yourself. You’re the one teaching me these things,” Steve said as he backed away slowly, holding out his hand.  
  
“I’ve created a monster,” Bucky conceded proudly, taking his hand.  
  
“Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”  
  
Steve grinned and tugged Bucky gently past the couches Tony had given him with their coats thrown over the backs, and his shield; past the boxes that Bucky had brought from his old apartment when he had moved in; past the dark entrance to the kitchen, and into their bedroom. (And yeah, Steve’s man enough to admit that referring to this as ‘their bedroom’ still gives him a pleased feeling, still makes him feel lucky.)  
  
“Oh, I’m very impressed,” Bucky said, pushing the door shut behind him. “Why don’t you show me what else you’ve learned?” he teased.  
  
“I’m afraid I don’t know to what you’re referring…” Steve replied innocently, grinning at the disappointed look on his boyfriend’s face. “You’re right, though. I am a bit of a tease. I guess I just like when you want me,” he admitted, letting go of Bucky’s hand to shrug his shirt off, tossing it on the floor.  
  
“Glad you like it, ‘cause I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon,” Bucky returned, slipping his suspenders off his shoulders. Steve eyed the dangling material with barely concealed frustration. He loved when Bucky wore the suspenders; couldn’t pinpoint what it was about them, but something – hell, maybe it was the way that Bucky wore them, or maybe it just reminded him of who they used to be. He didn’t know, but he was beginning to suspect that Bucky wore them just to frustrate him.  
  
“Good,” he said finally. “That’s…it’s real good.” He hauled Bucky in for a kiss, urgent and fierce. “You keep wearing those, Bucky,” he admitted, gesturing downward to the suspenders, “I’m going to have a situation.”  
  
“Then I guess I’ll just have to keep wearing them, won’t I?” Bucky grinned, delighted, and reached down between them to palm Steve through his trousers. Steve groaned softly. “Feels like you’ve already got a bit of a situation,” he whispered, nipping at Steve’s bottom lip.  
  
“Now who’s a tease?” Steve said, quirking his eyebrow.  
  
“What’s that?” Bucky shot back, stepping back and reaching for his suspenders, a downright roguish grin on his face. “You want me to put them back on? Seems a little backwards for someone trying to get  _into_  my pants, but okay.”  
  
“You’re a jerk,” Steve replied with no real feeling behind it. “That’s all.”  
  
He stepped forward quickly, grabbing Bucky’s hands to stop him from sliding the suspenders back over his shoulders. “Stop. Come on. Let me, just.” He brought Bucky’s hands up to his mouth, brushing his lips over his knuckles. “I want you to be thinking about me while I’m gone.”  
  
“I will be,” Bucky said firmly, withdrawing his hands from Steve’s to frame his face as he kissed him. “All the time.”  
  
“I’ll be thinking about you too, you know,” Steve admitted, tugging Bucky’s shirt over his head. It fell in the same unceremonious heap as his own. He hung his arms loosely around Bucky’s waist. “Every moment.”  
  
“Not too much, I hope,” Bucky responded sternly. “Wouldn’t want to be a distraction.”  
  
He grinned at Steve as his hands absentmindedly undid his belt.  
  
“I just meant that. Well.” Steve fumbled for words as Bucky pushed his pants over his waist and he stepped out of them haphazardly. “Never you mind. You won’t be a distraction, though. Promise.”  
  
“Good. I don’t need to worry about you any more than I already will.”  
  
“I guess it’s not fair of me to ask you not to worry,” Steve murmured, kissing his temple gently as he undid Bucky’s belt.  
  
“Mhm,” Bucky responded, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to Steve’s collarbone. “I’ll be fine, I can look after myself.”  
  
Steve knew that was true to a certain extent, but  _only_  to a certain extent. Natasha had told him what Bucky was like when he thought he was dead; he knew that if something happened, Bucky would cave in on himself and just  _not care_ . He let it slide.  
  
He drew in a shaky breath as Bucky continued kissing along his collarbone. “You sure about that?” he said, drawing Bucky back to stand next to the bed after he had shed his own trousers and boxers.  
  
“Promise.”  
  
Ignoring his own erection, Bucky stepped close to Steve and palmed him once more through his underwear. The friction of the fabric and of Bucky’s hand was almost too much, and his tongue darted out to wet his lips as Bucky’s hand slipped inside the front opening to grasp him gently. His hips canted forward into Bucky’s palm without thought, and he ignored the breathy chuckle that his boyfriend let out in response.  
  
Mildly annoyed in a purely affectionate way, Steve pushed Bucky’s hand away and hurriedly discarded his boxers, then tugged Bucky onto the bed as he kissed him urgently, hands roaming over skin. Somehow, amidst the roaming hands and the simple refusal to part their mouths for anything but air, Bucky ended up straddling Steve, his knees resting on either side of his hips, his arms twined around his neck.  
  
“Now,” Bucky murmured, grinning, “let me take care of you.”  
  
“Your stupid smile drives me crazy, Bucky.”  
  
And it was true; Steve had always loved his smile, even before the serum, before he realized that he had wanted Bucky all along. The sketchbook that lay abandoned on Bucky’s bedside table was a testament to that.  
  
“Tonight was supposed to be about you, you know,” he added, letting out a surprised moan as Bucky took his dick in hand, stroking it slowly.  
  
“I’m nothing if not generous.”  
  
“If this is like what we talked about before…” Steve hissed, reaching between them to take hold of Bucky, twisting his wrist, trying to get a reaction. Bucky’s frustrated whine and the way his grip tightened was reaction enough. “You don’t have to do this to, ah, keep me around.”  
  
“It’s not, Steve,” Bucky said, voice thick. “Promise. I  _like_  doing things for you.”  
  
“I like doing things for you too, you know,” Steve responded, moving his hand away from Bucky’s dick and running his hands up his sides instead, finally pulling him closer.  
  
“I know you do. God, just keep touching me—”  
  
He traced the curve of Bucky’s spine lazily, reveling in the feel of him so close, of skin pressed against skin, and his desire evident low against his stomach. “So, while I appreciate your generous offer, how about we try something else?”  
  
“And what’s that?”  
  
“I believe the other day you mentioned, ah. Wanting to feel me.”  
  
Bucky smiled hopefully for a moment before his brow knit in concern. “And you, uh. You want to?”  
  
“Mhm. I want to. I want…Jesus, Bucky, I want everything,” he confessed, hands mapping Bucky’s skin and finally coming to rest. He wrapped one arm around his waist and the other came up to press against his shoulder blade. Steve pressed another kiss to Bucky’s throat, open-mouthed and sparking sweetness.  
  
Bucky tilted his head back to allow him better access. “Told you I’d be able to find something to give you,” he teased, smiling.  
  
“You’re gonna give me everything?” Steve asked, curious and moved at the same time. His tongue darted out and licked at Bucky’s pulse, soft and barely there at first, and then—in response to the soft sound of indignation Bucky made in the back of his throat—with broad, rough strokes that had Bucky pressing up against him, breath hitching. “I think I can live with that.”  
  
He bit down gently on Bucky’s pulse, causing him to give a strangled gasp and rock forward against him, his fingers pressing into the skin of Steve’s shoulders.  
  
“Fuck, Steve. You…you don’t know what that’s doing to me.” He let out a breathy laugh.  
  
“Oh?” Steve replied idly, soothing the faintly red bite with gentle licks from his tongue. Bucky sighed above him. “I think I know exactly what it’s doing.” He pressed a kiss to the red mark, soft and lingering.  
  
“Not that I don’t love talking to you, Steve,” Bucky began, arching his back as Steve pressed more kisses to the skin on his throat, “but you really need to shut up.”  
  
He slid off of his lap and lay on the bed, hair tousled and lips red from kissing, looking absolutely wanton, and when he grabbed Steve’s bicep and tugged on it gently, Steve moved until he was lying above him.  
  
“Please,” Bucky said softly.  
  
Steve couldn’t tell if Bucky was begging him to get it on with already, or to please shut up. He figured it was probably both.  
  
He didn’t really know what to do, and Steve guessed that the mild panic he was feeling – he wanted to give this to Bucky, this is the last night they’d share for at least a few days, maybe ever, and that he wanted it to be good for him – showed, because after a minute Bucky’s intense gaze faltered, shifting into something more tender.  
  
“I know,” he soothed, brushing Steve’s hair back from his face. “I’ll tell you what feels right.”  
  
Steve ducked his head, a blush spreading over his cheeks.  
  
“I just want it to be good for you,” he whispered. “Want to give you this.”  
  
Bucky leaned up and kissed Steve quick and hard. “Not possible for it to be anything else, not when I’m with you.”  
  
His hand came up to support Bucky’s back, fingers splayed across his spine. He buried his face in the curve of his neck. He didn’t want to let this go. Strange, how something could be in front of your face for years and years and you didn’t see it until it was almost too late.  
  
“Love you,” Bucky whispered into his ear.  
  
“You too.”  
  
Bucky let out a laugh and then arched himself backward; Steve got the hint and let him fall back to the bed, his hand supporting him all the while. As he slid his hand out from under, moving it to just above Bucky’s shoulder, the soldier took his other hand and brought it up to his mouth.  
  
“What’re you—oh.  _Oh_ .”  
  
Bucky’s tongue came out to lick the pads of his index and middle finger, soft and barely there at first, and then more insistent, rough and lapping. Steve watched as he slowly slid the fingers into his mouth, sucking on the digits with almost as much reverence and enthusiasm as he’d had the previous week when he’d given Steve a blowjob.  
  
“Bucky…”  
  
The fingers slid out of his mouth easily, wet and shining, and Bucky’s half-lidded eyes moved to meet Steve’s wide ones.  
  
“Need to make the way a little easier, yeah?” he reminded. Steve nodded dumbly, and Bucky gave him a lopsided grin, sliding Steve’s hand down down down between them, until they were pressed against the crux of Bucky’s spread legs.  
  
Bucky’s hand moved back, finding a resting place on Steve’s hip.  
  
Steve used the slick from Bucky’s mouth to press one finger and then two inside, Bucky biting his lip and furrowing his brow in concentration all the while. His breath hitched when Steve curled his fingers inside him, and his hips jerked when his fingers brushed against his prostate.  
  
He enjoyed watching Bucky’s skin flush, watching his muscles move under his skin and the changing expressions on his face – one moment wanton, the next reverent, and the moment after that pleased, a smile lighting his face, eyelids fluttering closed as he bit his bottom lip.  
  
After a few moments of Steve moving his fingers inside him, in and almost out, changing the pressure and the angle at turns, he grew more eager.  
  
He kept arching up against Steve, rocking down against him; Bucky reached his hand up to Steve's hair, tugging his head down close to his own. Though the gesture itself was somewhat rough, Steve found that he didn't mind it. "Come on, Steve," Bucky mumbled, fingers rubbing against his scalp. "I want more."

"But Bucky..." Steve managed, furrowing his brow slightly. This was all new to him, but regardless, he thought that maybe Bucky should be more well prepared. He remembered the first time that they'd ever fucked, and Bucky had taken an achingly long time getting him ready, worked him open until Steve was writhing and arching up against him, practically begging for Bucky to move inside.

"'s okay," Bucky replied, leaning up slightly to press kisses along his jawline, nipping lightly at the skin. "I can take it. Want it, too. Want _you._ "

Steve sighed and let out a shuddering breath, finally starting to move in earnest. Whether it was Bucky's words or the fact that he really just couldn't hold back anymore, not when Bucky was so warm and tight around him, he didn't know, although at a later time, he'd wager that it was a bit of both. It was perfect, knowing that from their friendship could come this, this exquisite and lovely thing, which only seemed the product of their friendship set on fire.

  
As he moved, he reached between their bodies to grasp Bucky’s dick, jerking it almost lazily, never slowing his thrusts. Bucky was simultaneously trying to arch up into Steve’s palm and move back against him; it was impossible, and he let out a frustrated whine that had Steve laughing against the corner of his mouth.  
  
“Laugh it up,” Bucky gasped, “you bastard—”  
  
Steve kissed Bucky hard on the mouth, and Bucky bit his bottom lip – he guessed in retaliation for him laughing at his predicament. He ran his tongue over it as he pulled back slightly to look down at Bucky. Christ, but he was beautiful. And like this, pinned down and moaning, hair tousled and sweat sheening his skin, just for him.  
  
Bucky whined and writhed and moaned beneath him, giving back as much as he could. It was absolutely intoxicating to Steve, who'd never really thought that something like this would ever belong to him. It had always been Bucky that people saw and wanted, not him. It hadn't bothered him until he realized that what he wanted more than anything was for Bucky to want him the way he seemed to want all of the women he was with. His touches were becoming less languid and more desperate, and Steve could tell that he was close, so close. Suddenly, the only thing he wanted was for Bucky to come, and for it to be because of of him. He twisted his wrist sharply, thumb brushing up and over the head of Bucky’s dick.  
  
“Jesus  _Christ_ —“  
  
Bucky’s back arched off the bed, his eyes wide and lips parted, and Steve honestly couldn’t stop looking at those blown pupils, so big and black with desire that they practically took over all of his eyes. His hands, having fallen from Steve’s shoulders at some point, clutch at the sheets, gathering them in his fingers until he was pretty sure the fabric will rip. His body was wracked with small, helpless shudders as he orgasmed suddenly, spilling over Steve’s palm.  
  
Steve stared.  
  
Bucky would’ve laughed if he’d been able. Steve looked amazed, like he couldn’t believe what he’d just done, and he was so still inside Bucky that, unable to summon much energy for else, he lifted his hips, rocking forward slightly against Steve as if to remind him that yeah, you’ve still got to come too.  
  
Three firm thrusts into Bucky had Steve moaning against the curve of his neck as he, too, came, pressing the soldier against him fiercely. The moment seemed sudden and intense and achingly long. His every sense narrowed down to register Bucky, and only Bucky.  
  
“ _Bucky_ ,” Steve choked out, and the way he said it – reverent, as if it was the only word that mattered in the whole world – had Bucky’s heart swelling with love.  
  
He whimpered as Steve eased out of him, still trying to catch his breath. He was no spring chicken, but Steve was definitely the best he’d ever been with, even with a significant lack of experience. He guessed that he was right: some things just come natural.  
  
His hand came up and touched the metal of his dog tags, warmed by his skin, or Steve’s skin, or both. He knew the information on them by heart, and as Steve moved off of him to lie next to him on the bed, he recited it in his head.  


Barnes, James B.

032836348

AB-

Catholic

  
He lifted his head slightly as he pulled the chain up and over his head. Steve turned his own head to look at him.  
  
“What are you doing?” he asked curiously, his hand reaching out to absentmindedly stroke the skin of Bucky’s hip.  
  
Bucky held out his dog tags.  
  
“Want you to have these,” he replied, nervous in a way he couldn’t remember ever being around Steve before, except perhaps when he first told him how he felt, or the first time they had ever don’t something intimate. (Okay, so maybe he  _had_  felt this way around Steve before.) “You can hold onto ‘em until you come back from the mission.”  
  
Steve looked at him with impossible fondness as he reached out to take the dog tags.  
  
“You’re sure?” he asked, his eyes veiled but a quirk at the corner of his mouth that Bucky knew so well meant that he was on the verge of smiling.  
  
“Yeah, of course. I. I want you to.”  
  
He watched as he slid the chain around his neck, and Bucky’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel pleased as punch that there was some part of him marking Steve as his own. Steve caught his hand as he drew it away, and brought it closer to him; lifting his head upward just a little, he pressed a kiss to Bucky’s palm.  
  
Bucky reached over to grab the edge of the blanket, pulling it over the both of them until it was up to their waists. He didn’t quite know what to do next; he was still awkward like this with Steve, still didn’t know what should happen. They’d had sex twice previously, and both times had been amazing, but—  
  
Steve brushed his bicep with his knuckles.  
  
“Mhm?” Bucky replied idly, turning his head and blinking owlishly at the Avenger.  
  
“C’mere.”  
  
Steve slid his fingers underneath Bucky’s back, pressing lightly until he moved with them, rolling over onto his side, pressed up against Steve. He shifted his right arm until he could wrap it around Steve’s, the other laying haphazardly across his stomach.  
  
“Is this…”  
  
“Yeah. Yeah, Bucky, it’s fine. Perfect, even.”  
  
Bucky rested his head on Steve’s chest after Steve reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. His arm came around to hold Bucky firmly against him, and he found that he didn’t mind, however impossible Steve’s grip will be to get out of in the morning, or god forbid if he had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Steve’s heartbeat was firm and sure against his ear, and he took comfort in it.  
  
Whatever tomorrow would bring, at least they had this.


End file.
